Friday, August 3, 2012

Top 13 (of the Week)

Sure,you know what's cool. But do you know what's really fuckin' FAR OUT? That's where Advanced Demonology comes in. Every week, (K)en and (S)wilson trudge through the murky waters of the pop culture hellscape, dredging up sparkly morsels of wonder. These are the result of our latest foray into the world of the weird, our wildest, wiggest-out picks of the week. Call it our 13 Point Program.

13. Stoned Jesus
How many times have you almost gotten off the couch (of woe) and formed a band called Stoned Jesus? Me too, man. Well, these lude snorting behemoths from the Ukraine have gone and fuckin' done it, and the results sound exactly how you'd expect: like a snowblind Sabbath lost in the woods, getting their frostbitten toes chewed off by mangy wolves. They have a new(virtual) record out, Seven Thunders Roar. You should get (download)  it. As we sometimes say here in Boston, wicked sick. (K)

12. Effects Database
Monster website dedicated to the wild wonderful world of guitar effects pedals. Outsider rock and roll would be nothing without these cool looking devices that basically fuck up your guitar sound, creatively of course. There are thousands of different pedals out there and the boutique pedal making market has really exploded in the new millennium. Navigating your way to the right choice of pedal for your stoner rock meets cuddle core death metal band can be daunting. This is your road map. (S)

11. Bonnie and Clyde 2012
So, Serge Gainsbourg has a hairy kid named Lulu (!). His music is bascially the same as his dad's: breezy, smoky, and sinsiter. And, also like his dad, he likes to collaborate with sexy blonde actresses. So it should come as no surprise that he would cover dad's classic “Bonnie and Clyde”, and that he would cast Scarlett Johannson in the Brigitte Bardot role. Tres cool, daddy-o. (K)

10. Camel - Mirage
Camel is becoming my go-to prog-rock band when I'm looking to feel really stupid by listening to smart music. Does that make any sense? Anyway… this record is amazing. It's as good as any Pink Floyd record of the day. Check out the last two minutes of "Nimrodel-The Procession-The White Rider" Awesome!  And for all you guys born in the 80's I included an 8-bit version that some psychopath did.(S)

9. Enceladus almost certainly has life on it
Forget Titan. Astronomers now think that Enceladus, one of Saturn's moons, is the most likely place in the solar system to find some form of alien life. It's only 310 miles around and encased in ice, but there's water, water everywhere (even shooting out of the surface), and the water's got organic compounds in it. I'd say it's time to stop with all the fuckin' wars already and build a rocket to Enceladus pronto! (K)

8. Sylvain Sylvain (1979)
The New York Dolls are the like the Beatles for scumbags. All the members of this band are super cool in their own right. Sylvain Sylvain is basically the George Harrison of the bunch. Johnny and Johansen have always eclipsed Syl and although I've seen him live a few times and he rules, I never really got one of his records. It doesn't have the same swagger to the production (or lack thereof) as, say, L.A.M.F,  but the tunes are boss. Teenage News will have you and you girl/boyfriend dancing around the portable turntable. (S)

7. The earliest known recorded existence.
It's an Edison tube recorded in 1888.  It's an excerpt from Handel's “Israel in Egypt” sung by a chorus of 400(!) and recorded (for whatever crazy reason) from the distance of 100 yards. I know, you want it to sound like something David Lynch would come up with. Well, it does.

PS: Some folks will tell you that this is not the earliest music in existance, that there's a paper recording from 1860 of someone singing vocal scales. While this is technically true, it's not actually music. And it sounds like some kind of terrifying ghost. (K)

6. Black Sabbath Live In Asbury Park New Jersey 1975
I've been a Sabbath fan since I was twelve. I wake up every morning and I wish that they made 20 records between 1969 and 1975 instead of five. But they didn't. I have even learned to like Technical Ecstasy and Never Say Die.  This is the closest thing you'll get to a lost Sabbath record. It's a bootleg that sounds like it was pro recorded. The band is in top freak form and the concert took place about 4 miles from the town I grew up in New Jersey, but I was too young to go…..bummer. If you know anything about Jersey you can imagine the sea of feathered haired, doper, dirt farmers, that made up the audience. A tear comes to my eye.(S)

5. Bear Hunting in Siberia
This is a photo of a bear hunting unform used by maniacs in Siberia in the 1800's. Put all of that stuff together in your head: 1800's/Siberia/fucked up leather suit covered head to toe in spikes/bear hunting. How did anybody ever survive back then? Also, now that everyone knows this exists, how long until kids start showing up at Slayer shows dressed like this? (K)

4. Gems Off The Cutting Room Floor
I've been on the hunt for homemade super 8 films of kids in the 60's and 70's smoking pot.  It's an image that I find relaxing. Like some people like to watch sports, I like to watch people get high, I guess. So I'll be posting my findings on the Top 13 from time to time. This week's installment comes from Long Island, believed to be filmed around 1969 or 1970. (S)

3. Lui Magazine
Basically, Lui was the French Playboy. I'm sure you understand the implications of that. I don't understand it, but I LIKE IT. (K)

2. Drugs Are Like That
This really is the weirdest Anti-drug film ever made. It's like to Kill A Mocking Bird meets a Hasbro commercial made by NYU film school hippies on acid. I really don't know what to say about it. It's slightly abstract? What the fuck? I guess drugs are like that.(S)

1. A dingo eating a shark.
Just when you think Australia has run out of what-the-fucks, this happens. (K)

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